Quick! What is one of the most difficult Bible verses to follow in your marriage? For many the answer to that question is found in the middle of the “love” chapter, also known as I Corinthians Chapter 13. Here is the section to which I refer: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres (v. 5-7 NIV). All of these descriptions are difficult for men. Patience is everybody’s problem. Anger seems an emotion all too familiar to husbands. But for me the clincher is “keeps no record of wrongs”. That is a deal-breaker right there. What if my wife does something really bad? What if she has long track record of repeatedly doing things that offend me?
In my book, Perfect Circle, I have encouraged husbands to see themselves as prophets, priests, and kings in the spiritual sense, in their marriage. A key feature of a good king is his ability to look past a sin or transgression. Kings can do this. They can commute sentences and cancel debt. They can even choose to treat those unworthy as worthy members of his kingdom. This is a model of grace. This is exactly what God the High King of Heaven does for us. He looks past our sin every minute of the day. We don’t even belong in His presence, but because of His Son Jesus, he treats us like friends.
Look past your wife’s transgressions and treat her as a friend.
Donald S. McCulloch, Ph.D.