Party Glasses
Imagine yourself with 2022 glasses. Special events and holidays can include party glasses that go with the celebration. Just head down to any store that sells party supplies and you can be set for the year. While we do not wear party glasses on a day-to-day basis, we do have very specific ways in which we view the world. Just ask people how they view political, spiritual, or societal to highlight how differently we see things. Our own personal paradigm or schema, which is unique and personal to every person, can be the reason everyone seems to view or interpret an event differently. It truly is amazing how many points of view can be represented.
In counseling, a very helpful tool can be to help clients better understand the lens through which they view life events and interpret certain situations. Some of these lenses through which we see the world have been developed throughout our childhood, and others we learn as we are adults. Understanding how you view or interpret life can benefit your ability to make different choices instead of feeling stuck by only seeing your circumstance through a particular viewpoint. It is not wrong to have a specific viewpoint or lens through which we view the world; however, being able to recognize our perspective can assist in having discussions and not arguments.
One of the assessments I give to prospective clients is called the Young Schema Questionnaire, and it helps identify any maladaptive schemas or lenses, through which they interpret their life. Many of us are not consciously aware of how we interpret daily interactions and life events, thus eliminating our ability to make different choices or view the situation from a different perspective. Even if we have very set views, we can still learn to identify our default lens and start making different choices. However, it needs to be intentional.
If you have children, you are helping them to navigate through their day-to-day and thus helping them develop a way of viewing themselves and others around them. What a tremendous privilege and responsibility. Here are some questions to help us better understand our personal lens. Here are some questions to help increase your understanding of your personal ‘party glasses’.
How would I describe my family of origin and their lens or way of viewing the world?
Do I view things just like my mom? Dad? Brother? Sister? Etc.
Do people describe me as optimistic, pessimistic, skeptical, sarcastic, gullible, etc.?
How did I come to have my point of view?
Are my assumptions about something ever wrong?
What am I trying to teach/show/mentor to my children?
— Tracy Paulino, LMHC, MCAP, ICRC