Helping Our Sons Be Masculine - “The Hero’s Journey”

There are so many tales out there of bravery in all societies. In fact, one noted sociologist, discovered that there is a myriad of sophisticated and even primitive cultures that boast similar tales of what is referred to as “The Hero’s Journey”. He found matching elements conducive to each version of these legends. Namely, the masculine hero was typically unknown. He typically was deeply motivated to save someone that was under attack or facing execution in another enemy tribe. Always, his own safety was of least importance and always braving a tortuous journey to rescue another man or a damsel in distress. These victims were not a friend to him and thus personal reward was not part of the equation. 

In most of these societies this legend was their most precious as it was used by families over many generations by the community fathers to inspire their boys to thrive. They always included basic wise and mature principles. First, to put others ahead of themselves always and know that a selfless man was preeminent in the village. Second, to build in them the humble reality that they can brave whatever danger lurks for a higher purpose of helping others, but never for fame or reward. Third, that their masculine calling was venerable and thus respected by mature men around them just by being their sons! Lastly, that this calling could not be met just by personal achievement but by the encouragement and strength of their elders together all along the way.

Whether this sociologist fully realized how these stories closely resemble the Gospel call of Christ, and included Biblical elements of vaunted masculinity, I am not sure.  I am absolutely convinced he had no idea how significant this finding would be for us today. I believe most fathers truly want their sons to be at peace with who they naturally are: males. I believe we seek best practices for our sons to realize their potential to become men. And I believe we are typically motivated naturally to help and not hinder that process. However, the presence of a community of elders to enable this journey is hard to find. Let’s look at ways that we as fathers and fellow elders can build such a cohort to raise our sons as potential heroes in our culture.

— Jeff Bercaw