Refined in the Fires
Some of the many questions I get when working with individuals who have gone through challenging times in life are, “Why is this happening to me?”, “What did I do wrong to deserve this?” Or, “Why is God punishing me?” Of course, it is natural to think these things. Who hasn’t been through a troubling experience and pondered the very same questions, all while feeling anger, sadness, disappointment, confusion, frustration, and perhaps even chaos?
The natural inclination is to shrug shoulders and pass it off as “just one of those things we deal with.” That doesn’t lend itself to providing legitimate answers or validating emotional pain. So, we search for meaning.
In his book “Bait of Satan”, John Bevere beautifully tackles this very subject matter, providing an effective metaphor that pairs the technical process of refining gold to the metamorphosis that takes place in people. First, solid gold is pliable, malleable, and shapeable. Only when it is mixed with other metal alloys does it become hard as a rock. To return it to its natural desired consistency so it can be molded to any desired shape, the gold is intensely heated to the point that the impurities begin to float to the surface. The craftsman then carefully removes the unfavorable metals with great intentionality and patience, tossing them to the side because they are no longer needed and get in his way of creating his masterpiece. Once pure, he can then form the gold into any shape he wants. The end result could be a sparkling piece of jewelry, a shiny-plated set of utensils, a glistening sculpture, or perhaps a radiant set of scrollwork on a building. The gold, through extreme stress, moves from one consistency to another oftentimes without anyone even knowing what it went through to do so. It may have appeared to be okay before being exposed to the fire, but after, it became something beyond just okay. The artist transformed it into exceptionally remarkable.
People go through a similar metamorphosis. They could be going through life just fine and then BOOM, just like that, something happens that knocks them down to their very core where they are left feeling broken. It is during these difficult times that strength of character is rebuilt in more powerful and meaningful ways. The old character traits that no longer serve a beneficial purpose get filtered out and replaced by more effective skills, behaviors, or tendencies. It’s often hard to see the “good” through the “bad” while it’s happening. That’s when the deep questioning sets in, and we wander back to the questions asked in the opening of this blog. Naturally, we slide down the slippery slope of self-doubt that erodes our confidence. Thankfully, it is temporary. Only once through the heat, just like the gold, are we able to see our positive transformations. We realize how we’ve grown into better versions of ourselves because we’ve filtered out the characteristics of people that may have been keeping our hearts hard. The intense difficulties filtered out the flaws, making way for the strengths.
This refining is not by accident. For those who have faith in Christ, these challenging periods, by design, occur to draw us closer to the Father. He heats things up to strengthen our relationship with Him, so He can guide us with love and patience towards what He has envisioned for us. While it’s happening, it sometimes makes no sense and admittedly, it’s easy to lash out with negativity. Yet, by faith, we miraculously dedicate ourselves to staying connected, and, in the end, all is well.
So, the next time you’re questioning why you’ve been put through the fire, try to remember to ride it out. Instead of trying to completely douse the flames, let them unfold around you. Seek counsel from someone you trust to help lower the heat a few degrees so it’s more tolerable and patiently wait for the new and improved you to emerge, shiny as gold.
— Jill Dagistino