SPANISH RIVER COUNSELING CENTER BLOGS + VIDEOS
Top 3 Things Couples Say in their 1st Session
Tracy and I have been seeing spouses individually for quite some time, but it wasn’t until early this year we started seeing them together, as a husband+wife team. This makes for a more cohesive treatment plan, but it also enables us to compare notes/impressions and using our different perspectives find tools to assist our couples.
Top 3 things Couples SaY in their first session
By: Arturo Paulino
Tracy and I have been seeing spouses individually for quite some time, but it wasn’t until early this year we started seeing them together, as a husband+wife team. This makes for a more cohesive treatment plan, but it also enables us to compare notes/impressions and, using our different perspectives, find tools to assist our couples.
As we compare notes and remember commonalities between couples during their first sessions with us, there are three phrases we constantly hear time and time again:
1- “I’ve never heard that before…”: This is by far the most common. It usually comes with a soft voice mixed with disbelief. We see it more coming from the wife, but it isn’t exclusive to her by any means. This is a key phrase because it speaks of gaps in what John Gottman calls Love Maps.
2- “I’m tired…”: This comes evenly from both parties, 50/50. Sometimes it comes plain like that, and other times comes with a side of choice words right after. Studies have shown couples usually show up for help six years too late. This expression is a cry out of sheer exhaustion.
3- “Do you see any Hope?”: If the first phrase was the most common, this is the most important. Tools and techniques are necessary. However, if the couple is running low on hope it makes the journey much much challenging to navigate. This is when it is essential to distinguish between hope IN and hope FOR. Their question is meant as ‘do you see any hope FOR our relationship?’ the short answer is yes, every relationship can be improved. However, during following sessions it’s foundational to look into where/what/who our hope is IN. Said in another way, where/what/who is the source and guarantor of our overall hope.
Regardless of where you are coming from, here’s what we’d like you to walk away with: invest in getting to know your partner; exhaustion is an indication of trouble; and yes, yes, yes… there’s hope.
About the Author
My name is Arturo and I am loved by God and in response to that I best serve others by adding VALUE to their lives.
The Stigma is Fading
Most are familiar with the stigma of mental health. The stigma leaves one feeling misunderstood and alone. This stigma has caused it to be very difficult for individuals to seek assistance in overcoming their struggles. The good news is the stigma is fading.
The Stigma is Fading
by Alyssa Hanna
Most are familiar with the stigma of mental health. The stigma leaves one feeling misunderstood and alone. This stigma has caused it to be very difficult for individuals to seek assistance in overcoming their struggles. The good news is the stigma is fading.
It is becoming more acceptable in society, possibly due to social media, television, music, and, I believe most importantly, people are starting to share their stories with those around them and the world is becoming aware and educated on mental health.
It may take time for individuals to get to the point of openly sharing their inner and invisible battles due to the lingering stigma and fear of rejection and judgement.
Some steps into eradicating this stigma:
Educate others on what it means to have struggles with mental health.
Let others know they are not alone. Isolation strengthens and fuels the struggle of mental illness.
Be aware of the language you are using about mental health. Help others become aware of how they talk and respond to mental health concerns.
Encourage others to talk to somebody for help.
If you know somebody struggling with mental illness, show them that you support them and love them.
Share your personal story. Sharing openly with trusted people helps weaken the hold mental health can have on you. It sheds light on the invisible struggles.
Be empowered. It can be very empowering for somebody who struggles with mental health to talk about their story with those he or she trusts.
If someone you know opens up about their struggles, do your best to listen, ask how you can help, and let them know you are thankful they trusted you to share their story.
Be able to seek help when needed. It takes courage and self-love to ask for help and to start making lasting changes.
Tell your story. Reclaim your power. Make lasting changes. Fight the stigma.
About the Author
“I offer couples, families, young adults, teenagers, and children a supportive and encouraging environment to work towards healing and growth. I walk alongside my clients through the healing process.”
Learn more about Alyssa Hanna
Hope
This is the eighth of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
This is the eighth of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically at helping us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
Resilience
This is the seventh of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
This is the seventh of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
Take the Pause
This is the sixth of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
This is the sixth of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically at helping us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
Serenity
This is the fifth of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
This is the fifth of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically at helping us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
SERENITY PRAYER
God, grant me the Serenity
To accept the things I cannot change...
Courage to change the things I can,
And Wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time,
Enjoying one moment at a time,
Accepting hardship as the pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is,
Not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His will.
That I may be reasonably happy in this life,
And supremely happy with Him forever in the next.
Amen.
Postitive Psychology
This is the fourth of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
This is the fourth of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
Therapeutic Breathing Techniques
This is the third of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
This is the third of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
Recognizing and Dealing with Stress
This is the second of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
This is the second of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
Introduction from Dr. Brent Gray
This is the first of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.
This is the first of a series of videos from Dr. Brent Gray, clinical director of Spanish River Counseling, in which he addresses our community with helpful tips and tools aimed specifically to help us navigate the uncertain times of this COVID-19 pandemic.