SPANISH RIVER COUNSELING CENTER BLOGS + VIDEOS
Choices
We have choices to lean on God to be able to move forward. I have seen that once we realize that we are in a situation where we have a choice, we could either wallow in self-pity, or we could make the most of the time with that situation. We do have a choice, and if we think positively, our lives will have so much more meaning because we make the best of what we have. Forgiving those who have hurt us also gives us peace.
We have choices to lean on God to be able to move forward. I have seen that once we realize that we are in a situation where we have a choice, we could either wallow in self-pity, or we could make the most of the time with that situation. We do have a choice, and if we think positively, our lives will have so much more meaning because we make the best of what we have. Forgiving those who have hurt us also gives us peace.
I feel that many times we do not see God working even when He is right there by us. I have a client who is very negative, and she keeps saying that she does not feel God’s presence and she does not hear Him. However, all she does is complain about her own negative thoughts. She refuses to do her part and wants everyone else to fix her, but she also refuses medication. I feel that if we walk around being negative and others feed from that negativity, it makes the world an awful place, we must spread positive vibes to reap positivity around us. For us to spread positivity, we need to focus on the positive things around us. I have no doubt that if we look hard enough, we can find things to be grateful and thankful for. It may not always be easy, but we can do it. In every situation, God has seen our efforts and our part, so God will bless our efforts and I pray that the situation changes.
The scripture that comes to mind as I think of being positive is, Colossians 3:15, which says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful” (NIV). I believe that if we practice being thankful, then we will also be more positive and grateful.
— Dr. Norma S. Shearin, Ph. D., L.M.H.C.
Positive Emotions Undo Negative Emotions
Have you ever been upset and smiled anyway? When you do this long enough it actually tricks your brain into being happy! I have heard of this, I have tried it and it works. I do not remember where it came from, but I feel that it is a good thing to share, so that others can try it. I encourage my clients to try it in session and they too begin to laugh; especially when I ask them to see themselves in the mirror as they smile.
Have you ever experienced emotional pain and struggle? I believe that we can experience genuine and sincere positive emotions that can make coping with/combating negative or unpleasant emotions much easier to manage. I also believe that “Positive emotions undo negative emotions”. Have you ever been upset and smiled anyway? When you do this long enough it actually tricks your brain into being happy! I have heard of this, I have tried it and it works. I do not remember where it came from, but I feel that it is a good thing to share, so that others can try it. I encourage my clients to try it in session and they too begin to laugh; especially when I ask them to see themselves in the mirror as they smile. One of the things that help to be more positive is to keep a positive/gratitude or prayer journal. When we look back at the journal we can see God’s hand, especially in the difficult moments.
The scripture that comes to mind is, Colossians 3:15, which says, “Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful” (NIV). As we practice being thankful, it also brings joy into our lives helping us to be more positive and happier.
Watch this short video for more information!
— Dr. Norma S. Shearin, Ph. D., L.M.H.C.
Comparison is the Thief of Joy
Once you have achieved destroying your own image, it is very difficult to overcome it. However, with God, all things are possible and anyone can overcome the negative voices that took them to that place. It is important to see yourself for what and who God sees you to be, not how the world may see you because you are worth dying for.
Many of us grew up in difficult environments and we learn to compare ourselves to others. I once heard that if you have a beautiful thing and you compare it to anything else, that would be the easiest way to ruin it or destroy it. We are not to compare to anyone or anything because we are beautifully made and created in God’s image. As soon as we compare up or down, we lose track of who we are and who we were created to be. I believe that when you put yourself down and believe what others say, you poison your mind and it makes it hard to see the positive. Once you have achieved destroying your own image, it is very difficult to overcome it. However, with God, all things are possible and anyone can overcome the negative voices that took them to that place. It is important to see yourself for what and who God sees you to be, not how the world may see you because you are worth dying for.
The scripture that comes to mind as I type this post is, Genesis 1:27, which says, “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them” (NIV). We are created in God’s image and that makes us unique and beautiful. God does not make mistakes and He loves each one of us as we are.
— Dr. Norma S. Shearin, Ph. D., L.M.H.C.
Self-perception
Self-perception is the idea we have of ourselves, our characteristics, and the assessments we have of those characteristics. We are all flawed in certain areas of our lives and we tend to self-evaluate, for some of us, it is mostly at an unconscious level. Have you ever done a self-evaluation? It can be difficult to do self-evaluations and look back at who we were before Christ and who we are not. It takes real focus and effort to be able to self-evaluate without having a bias. How old were you when you became aware of your self-concept?
Self-perception is the idea we have of ourselves, our characteristics, and the assessments we have of those characteristics. We are all flawed in certain areas of our lives and we tend to self-evaluate, for some of us, it is mostly at an unconscious level. Have you ever done a self-evaluation? It can be difficult to do self-evaluations and look back at who we were before Christ and who we are not. It takes real focus and effort to be able to self-evaluate without having a bias. How old were you when you became aware of your self-concept?
We need to remember whose we are, not just who we are. We belong to an amazing God who paid an expensive and painful price for us when Jesus went to the cross to bring us to Himself. We need to remember that in Him, we are now a new creation and there is no more condemnation as we forgive ourselves and let go of our negative self-perceptions.
The scripture that comes to mind is Psalm 139:14, which says "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well" (NIV). God is amazing and He made us special and unique. We should always remember that well.
— Dr. Norma S. Shearin, Ph. D., L.M.H.C.
Psychological Theories
Psychological theories are systems of ideas that can explain certain aspects of human thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Psychology researchers create these theories to make predictions for future human behaviors or events that may take place if certain behaviors exist.
Psychological theories are systems of ideas that can explain certain aspects of human thoughts, behaviors, and emotions. Psychology researchers create these theories to make predictions for future human behaviors or events that may take place if certain behaviors exist.
Below, are a few psychological theories that can help explain human behavior.
1. Positive psychology is the study of human flourishing. It focuses on the positive and improving ourselves. However, how can we move forward until we understand the mistakes that we've made? That requires looking at the negative aspects of our life as well. Focus on a person’s strengths and virtues (Martin, 2007). “Treatment is not just fixing what is wrong, it is building what is right” (Seligman, 2002).
2. Negative psychology focuses on the nonfunctional. It is important to understand what we are doing and why it is not acceptable in society. To focus solely on negative aspects though, would lead to hopelessness. Therefore, you may also incorporate positivity to create hope for a better future. Treating people who are leaning toward a dysfunctional way of life, needing treatment of counseling and or medications in hopes of functioning normally (TED, 2008).
3. Christian psychology incorporates the Bible as a guide and on how to deal with life. It can and should incorporate all other aspects of psychology for the betterment of life. Since this type of psychology is centered around the Bible, this is where you would incorporate fruits of the spirit. A merging of theology and psychology. A belief going back centuries, believing that God revealed the most important truths about human beings in the Bible in created order using this worldview (Johnson, 2010, p. 11). This Spiritual experience is an impactful source of inspiration and strength to produce a change in people (Johnson, 2010).
4. Transformational psychology focuses on life-changing techniques and strategies. This type of psychology could go hand in hand with positive and Christian psychology. Gives insight into the emotional and mental integration of experiences and provides tools to live by the Bible’s direction (Biola CCT, 2014). Focuses on changing negative and reinforcing good to live by. Focus on others to find personal growth and joy (Colorado Christian University, 2022). Provides a growth mindset to overcome adversity (Bates, 2016).
— Dr. Norma Shearin, PhD, LMHC
References
Bates, P. (2016). Growth mindset. Access (10300155), 30(4), 28-31. Retrieved from https://search-ebscohost-com.ezproxy.ccu.edu/login.aspx?direct=true&db=lih&AN=119655980&site=eds-live
Biola CCT. (2014, April 15). Can psychology be Christian? [CCT conversations // Eric Johnson & Siang-Yang tan] [Video]. YouTube. https://youtu.be/bHFW_tOkaA4
Colorado Christian University. (2022). [Session 1 Biblical Perspective] School of Behavior and Social Sciences, Colorado Christian University. PSY360A
Johnson, E. L. (2010) Psychology & Christianity: Five views (2nd ed.). InterVarsity Press.
Martin, M. W. (2007). Happiness and Virtue in Positive Psychology. Journal for the Theory of Social Behaviour, 37(1), 89-103.
TED. (2008, July 21). The new era of positive psychology | Martin Seligman [Video]. https://youtu.be/9FBxfd7DL3E
Conflict
We need to realize that when two people or more are together, there will be some kind of disagreement or conflict at some point or another. Therefore, talking about it before it happens or as you sense it happening would be a good method to come to an agreement on how to handle it.
We need to realize that when two people or more are together, there will be some kind of disagreement or conflict at some point or another. Therefore, talking about it before it happens or as you sense it happening would be a good method to come to an agreement on how to handle it. Being open and honest about the way that conflict will be handled can give the person an expectation and sets a tone on how to deal with disagreements.
The scripture that comes to my mind is Proverbs 15:1, which reads, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (NIV). We can always approach each other with a kind gentle word to make sure that things remain calm and remind ourselves that as disagreements happen, we can still be cordial as we talk about them.
— Dr. Norma Shearin, PhD, LMHC
Positive Emotions Undo Negative Emotions
Have you ever been upset and smiled anyway? When you do this long enough it actually tricks your brain into being happy!
“Not only do happy people endure pain better and take more health and safety precautions when threatened, but positive emotions undo negative emotions.”
~ Martin Seligman, Psychologist
Have you ever been upset and smiled anyway? When you do this long enough, it actually tricks your brain into being happy! Happy emotions can undo negative ones, just like happy thoughts can undo negative thoughts. As we practice being thankful, it also brings joy into our lives, helping us to be more positive and happier. Try it!
— Dr. Norma Shearin, Ph.D., has been in the counseling field since 1999 and easily identifies with her clients as trauma, grief, and loss have all been a part of her past too.